So now.

What I was supposed to write?

How it’s hilarious why some hetero men are so homofobic. It’s unlikely that they would be rapes (possible of course, but keep your senses), so what is the threat with someone being homosexual? None, and it’s more women for “us”. And why we want to define person only by his or her sexuality? Wierd. All of this comes up of course that we have president elections on sunday and the far more better candidate is outspokenly gay.
At the same time, it’s so wierd how all those “feminist” etc are wanting more immigrants over here. Well, why not, but if you look at the cultural differencies and how women (or homosexual btw) are treated in many places where we are taking the immigrants from, maybe the immigrants should have pretty damn good brainwashing when they come. Cultures and values are relative, but mine are the right ones.

Another little bit less serious fun is in FB and probably many other places going around the fun pictures of left and right side of brain. Left is pictures brown and dull, right rather colorful. In order to make that distinction they have had to use the left side of the brain. Whole of this culture is all the time left and right, black and white.
I’m that a lot. Totally judgemental, not allowing gray anywhere. Black or white, right or wrong.

Relativism is fine, but usuallypeople just use it to escape on ackward or difficult situations. You should know.

I’m my mothers child. collectig stuff, I just hope I can avoid ending up the house full of stuff like she.
Well maybe vinyls, and cd and music…
And I have had a lot of music lately, so much that I don’t even know where to start.
So should I start at all?
Maybe not.

Going same old rounds. same old rounds, but with slight change.
SOS coming up next week.
Then a work with autistic people.
THen going off to teach, I think these will be my last workshops outside of the festivals.
Or… well… I need to get a real job, maybe then I get inspired again to teach, when I don’t need to think of the money. Money ruins everything. But also I feel that I just don’t get enough appreciation. Well, of course my ego is a bottomless hole so I don’t know what would be enough. But I think just a bit more would succeed.
In brasil I got few very nice feedbacks. So it’s not that I wouldn’t get anything.
I was really happy to teach, actually I am inspired of teaching, the act of it. But I on’t feel need to do it so much. Like, if people are not interested, why push it. maybe it would be better to find another pathways. More possibilities, like my little loved one says.

Right now I don’t have a flat or a house, it’s ok..
It will come.

Im often in a state of… not boredom but somekind of none coherence, not being able to concentrate verylong to anything… aimless, wandering aimlessly… without the actual physical wandering.

Been talking a lot with Marko about bikes. I like biking, I should get a good bike, if I would know where to get it.
I could get it easily here in helsinki/finland, but I’m not going to stay here for a long, for now. I think. who knows.

Politics are strange.. I should go in… and sort out things. But I’m too lazy to write about them, find me so we can talk.

Pic not being anyway connected to the topic.
Actually I don’t know what is the topic.

Let’s say, that, Talking is easy for me, for some people it’s not. And talk sometimes it’s so hard to find the words to express sensation or sensations specially when sensations can be conflicting. Since I try to teach CI I try to be good at that, but it doesn’t necessarily help because a lot of people do not relate to the words I use same way as I do, and even more importantly don’t relate the way I say the words. How ever. I need to remember this when I talk with my dear girlfriend, and maybe I understood one way for us the communicate somethings a bit more easier. MAybe not, who knows. But moods change.

Year changed. THis was the 3 new year I’m with the people I don’t really know much. But this time it was the most easiest. Maybe because she was here and I feel more easy and happy about that than last new year. Last time I was the only one not understanding the most common language used. Now there was 2 of us. I don’t know. Anyway there was some awesome musicians playing all night pretty much, some nice paella, beer, wine, dessert(s).And I enjoyed. mainly hearing people playing. I almost think I should get bit more into samba and bossanova.

So it’s again time that I would want to make the list of best musical albums of 2011, and I can’t.
I haven’t been home, even though I have listened to music, I think almost none of that has really come out on 2011
I haven’t even really gotten into Aidan’s stuff this year.
So I checked my last.fm charts since they should give a pretty good feel what I’ve been lsitening (remembering I don’t been home so no vinyl playing almost at all.

Blut Aus Nord is on top and true, hearing 777 – sects really got me into it so I listened all the previous albums as well. Don’t have any idea why I haven’t found them earlier, but good that I did now. I wonder can I still get 777 – sects on vinyl.

She Said Destroy is second. This City Speaks In Tongues was out years ago, and I have NO idea why I didn’t get it then since their previous album was one of the greatest metal albums for a long itme. but I didn’t. I got into it now. Great great stuff.

Rally is totally inherited from last year. I got them at the end of 2010.. But great great great and specially since you can get the albums for free, you should, and pay a bit too. Because the music of Rally (=SUmmen) is marvelloous.

Virus is virus olthough The Agent that Shapes the Desert haven’t really hit me so hard yet. I think it will. maybe.

The surprise is MAstodon, because it is actually their lates album that got out on 2011 that I’ve been listening to. I haven’t really gotten into the older ones although all the hype. New one has some great great songs. Really good. Yeah. Listen “octopus has no friends” makes me feel good.. the guitar thing that comes after chorus is super.

One super thing I found only this year (years late again) is Plutonium 74. Great stuff. I’m so happy I accidentally played “Radio menee Ylös” as a first song, because if I would have heard some more “traditional” reggae piece maybe I wouldn’t have gotten into it so much. I admit that the album is very uneven for me, but the fore mentioned song plus “Putoaako poikamme taivaalta” and specially “ruisleipää ja lakipykäliä” are so bloody superb that just those three justify three albums all together. Ruisleipää ja Lakipykäliä is actually one of the best songs for long time, the combination of happiness, nostalgia, melancholia, joy, reality and surreality is so so so awesome.

Next one hitting my eye on the list is Clair Cassis. Sounds like Velvet Cacoon because it is Velvet Cacoon. Best song names ever like “Antique Sea Smoke” and “Rosewater Cake“. But I like.

One Great album is Sylvain Chauveau‘s Singular Forms. I haven’t listened Chaveau before eventhough I have gotten recommendations. So I listen to it, and am wondering how he got David Sylvian to sing on his album, but then that it’s not Sylvain, but someone who sounds a lot like him and Davind Sylvian has the Voice. And then I find out that is mister Sylvain himself who is singing… My god, He needs to sing more on the albums.

I heard The Dodos from my friend Jenny. And eventhough I still haven’t listened all of their songs its mainly because I got stuck in Winter which is one of the best songs ever.

Other thing that I just found is Silversun Pickups can’t figure out why I didn’t find them earlier, but when I’m getting home I try to get them all from Ville, because Pikul is great.

I never though I would be in anywya country music, but Micah P. Hinson might change that a bit. Although if he wouldn’t have made the first song A Call to Arms such a beutiful instrumental He would never be mentioned because I would have never listened the album as far as I did.

Sinnbus has been one of my favourite labels mainly because of Torchous and Kam:As this year brough me also I might be Wrong (listen A Propos, chorus is a killer) and maybe Hundreds

There has been somuch of music that I would just easily label as “ambient” although not really ambient, so that I can’t remember all. Hey, since Stars of the Lid‘s “And Their Refinement of the Decline Haven’t been on any Top list I’ll add it here, That Album is pure Brilliance.
Other thing I would like to add just because of the last seconds of Burning Bridges Together is Twells & Christensen‘s Coasts I have listened that guitar for hours (looped it once with Traktor)

One more that I should have gotten straight away after release but for some unkown reason didn’t is Autolux‘s Transit Transit I think it’s as good as their debut, which is a lot. Hoping that Future Perfect actually was their debut.

This year I’ve been trying to find metal, good metal. Sometimes succeeding.

Murmuüre is sold out already from Paradigm records and I’m not surprised at all (I didn’t get it, but got the vinyl from Aurora Borealis). I don’t kno what to say about it. But it’s great.

Other thing which is somehow wierd to even mention is Altar of Plagues‘s Mammal because I’m not sure have I still listened the whole 4 songs but actually what happens at 8:14 on Neptune is Dead makes it already on this years list, funny enough.

Other release of Paradigms that comes to this list also mainly because the first song is Westering‘s Help a body There something in the soundworld that really works for me.

Anyway, soon I’ll be back in finland and have lot more to music to listen.. I wish I just find the place and time.
I just made my Ipod a playlist of some stuff I come up this past year that I should really catch up. Can I please somehow work with listening music?
Please.
This abudance is kind of too much. But I’m happy about it.
BTW September Malevolence AND Scraps of Tape has released new albums. Am I exited, yes a bit since SoT has always been good and SM’s previous album is absolutely amazing having a bass sound that makes me cry.

According to hippies and new age freaks this year will bring the change or starting of it. Watching the happenings in US (oocupy) Russia (demonstrations against Putin) and Arab world I can almost feel it. and I hope the change comes but does something else than in Egypt (where Fundamental islamist basically won the elections). All the Bes for all of you.

In florianopolis it’s rains a lot.
When there’s sun, it’s hot an burning.
Still I like it, somehow.

Since last time I’ve done 2 workshops over here and performed. Went to Porto ALegre, done workshop over there and performance.

Sveta came here as well. Telling first that she doesn’t know does she want to be with me. Then she knew. We have a bit of the problem talking since our words are not working on the same plane. And something has changed for her and she has met people who can understand her heart without words. I can’t. Yesterday we were talking about commitment again and how I feel that we understand it differently. From the way she talks I feel that for her commitment can be broken at any time. For me it cannot. It can be broken, of course, I have done it, but if it’s commintment it can’t be broken alone. To commit is to want. So if I commit to someone, I’ll work with the other person in order to make it work. And it might be that it doesn’t work even after trying. To me commitment is a lot of the want, so when I meet other desires I still want to choose the one I’m committed to, and that is the thing that makes me alive. It seems to me that for her that makes her a bit dead, because she actually desires something else. So I asked her if she wants and open relationship and she answered that maybe she dosn’t need any relationship.

It’s so hard when I’m relating to words so much. I know that the words lie as well and that there is other levels and plane’s of communication. But.. Somehow tired again. Of course I’m questioning myself of what I want. is it really that I want a committed relationship that would last for life. There is an ideal for that in me, but is it what I really want? I still feel that the answer is yes, it just seems that it will not be so easy to find a person who would feel the same.

I talked with Alexandra few days ago. It’s nice, I like her a lot. She was telling how she feels on somethings and somehow it was nice to hear. It kinda showed me why I didn’t go to germany over a year ago. Because it seems that all of the things I was afrai of would have happened. Of course, you never know what would have happened but persons are mainly patterns so if the pattern is occurring now it’s probable that it would have occurred anyway.

And the things are still there. Status, my place in world and heirarchy. I want to get rid of it. But it’s really difficult. I don’t really value myself because I don’t know how and what to value. I have no status, no money, no home, no job, no long itme relationship, no… I’m not open, not nice, I’m heavy, and dark I’m pessimistic, I think too much, I’m too closed, I don’t get things done, I do’t have the initiative. These are the things I hear. These are also the things that I see. And if I think about status.. I don’t really think I would be happier if I would have the “normal” job and a flat and a… How knows. But I feel there’s a pressure that I should have or done these things. And for sure, if it was by the work I want to do, I would be happier. But this far Only option that I have seen to achieve that have been through the work that I don’t really want to do. So what do I want to do then?

I would like to teach. I’m not sure often what is it that I would like to teach since there is so much to learn for myself. And at the same time I have no clear interest to study. Wierd. And teaching… well. I feel that I am good in that. but often I feel that people either do not agree or they don’t value the things I’m teaching or my persona comes in between. And this far I don’t know how to keep my persona out. But like now. I was in Porto Alegre doing a workshop. I taught pretty much the basic things for me, listening to the earth through the partner and yourself, having that connection clear for all the time. Then adding different aspects or viewpoints of it, but basically everything connected to that. Then on the second day Fernanda who was organizing the workshop ask if I could teach something more advanced. And I was lost, what is more advanced? So I asked what people want to learn. And eventually I gathered that It was pretty much what I was going to teach anyway, giving your whole mass. But people want to elarn what they see, they want to learn that cool looking movement. And within CI I don’t want to teach that unless there really would be a group that has the base of the listenign to the eart through so embodied that actually tey don’t need a teacher anymore, then it would be more like a lab. So what is more advanced? I don’t know. Eventually teahing is just pointing to something. Sign post to the true knowledge that can never be verbal.

It interesting, actually most of the things that we learn is not the knowledge itself but ways to communicate about the knowledge. Like anatomy, We might know name of everybone and muscle but we need them only when we need to communicate something about them, and true, sometimes to make things clear or embody the knowledge we need to communcate about those things with ourselves. (Who is communicating with whom, how many being there is within me, which one is me)

Ok, somehow I read UG Krishnamurti above there. So if you’re interested read. He is saying that there is no new experience, because in order us to know something as an experience we need to have some earlier information where to refer to. Ok this is simplified he’s saying a lot of other stuff too, many thigns which I’m not sure do I agree on. But in a way it just brings out the relativeness of everything. and yet, sensation is ot relative, the communication of the sensation is relative, because in order to communicate the sensation it’s needs to define it and there is no other ways to define than comparisons, but the sensation itself, before it’s communicated is not relative at all? or is it? I think it’s not. But if you don’t communicate the sensation to yourself, is it still there? Of course it is. Again, nature of reality is highly interesting.

Co-incidences happening. Nothing special, just little things. I often try to find meaning in them, but I can’t see it. So I try to let go, and just notice. Co-incidence.

In BSAS I was visiting a Video dance festival and saw documentary from Anna Halprin, “Breath made Visible”. Very good, what was interesting to me in relation to CI was that she was doing some stuff with community project on sixties, that by the look of it was totally CI. But she wasn’t interested about the physics, but emotions.
Later I had a talk with Asaf and Paula and Belen and I mentioned this. Asaf told that he remember Steve saying in some conversation that to him CI was kind of a counter culture in counter culture. Because all of the emotins, community, etc were on top at the sicties and seventies, he wanted to concentrate on the physics. It’s funny, because now people are again so much talkign how CI is so “special” because it’s intimicy, touch, emotions etc. And actually, that’s the stuff people were doing long time before, and that specially is NOT the stuff the artform that became CI wanted to concentrate on. There’s nothing bad in it. just interesting for me who has always approaached CI more from the physical point of view. Rather impersonal.

I wonder is there somebody who would like to work with me, on art level.
I wonder is there somebody who would like to work with me, on personal level.
I wonder is there anyone who really would share the view of commitment and would want to work with that.

Good day and good luck to you all.

Yesterday I needed to wait for a plane.
Played with iKaossilator.

And did somethings earlier.

Here is a few clip.

Dark Breeze

Little Khaos

Big Jazz

In Brasil, in a beatiful house by the se, on an upstair studio.
Great.
Rainy stormy day.
Waves crushing on to the shore.

Tomorrow.

TIme in BSAS is gone.
Sveta was right. Nothing happened. well not enough for me but I’m still unable to see how could I make it happen more.
But some nice performances and Nice workshop in festin and ow in last weekend. Thanks for Ciete Cielos, specially Jose, but all of them. Thanks to Gabo and Vanina.

I spent few days in Gabos place having very nice conversations with him. And few nice dances as well.

Yesterday Met Asaf, Paula and Belen. Again nice conversation.

But all and all, the same thing like last years. a real job. I feel that eventhough I do think of myself as a good dancer and teacher, other people don’t see it quite like that. At least if I’m looking the attendance rates to my classes.
So something else. I’m happy to come and teach, but I don’t want have need of making money with that. So I don’t need to take offers that don’t really please me. I really like teaching, but feeling dissapointments of the amount of people or of being rejected by festivals are taking the fun out of bit. So I shouldn’t take it too seriously.
The bad thing is that it’s the only thing that I feel I can actually do well. That I’m good in. So need to find other things that I’m good at, and which are appreciated more also around me.

Found out Murmuüre, I really like it, so it should be coming on vinyl, to me.
Lot of other things as well so now I hope santa claus will halp me also with my music addiction.

Lot of thinking of the internal processes. And how it’s so hard to let go.
And why do I choose what I choose when my choices are making me crazy at times.

Like what is my reason to organize festival with the group who working method often really sucks.
Why I can’t let go off that.
Maybe next year I will.
Maybe.

My life is so empty, there is so little of fillers. So it’s hard to let go off those few things. So I need to fill my life more.
question remains, with what? What am I really interested about? And what if I’m not?

Been playig more with Korg’s iKaossilator, it updated so now the exporting of the “songs” is even easier.

I’ll leave to florianopolis today.
Travelling is always stressing for me.
I’m most excited that Sveta is coming in few days. Very happy to see her and be able to be in the same physical space.

SOS is in usual turbulence. I somehow wish that peple would just inform if they’re not coming, early.
Or then next year I could (or we) really keep the deposit deadline. Now I’m being too nice.
And yesterday I made some mistakes with checing who has payed and who not, thanks to people having very similar names. Well I hope everything is ok now.
I think there’s like 40 people who haven’t payed or informed anything… Luckily I took abut 130 people in on the beginning knowing that there will be cancellations.
well in one day I’ll throw everyone out who hasn’t payed or contacted me.

Nothing much.

There is so many interesting things, but I would so much rather talk about those than write, for now.
Like:
Russia and Putin (I wait for a new “terrorist” attack, to get people fall in line behind him)
Tibetan Buddhism, buddhism and esoterical stuff.
The world change, and maya’s
Social form of contact and what other options we could have?
Hierarchy in any society or “community”, when it’s good when it’s bad.
Politics and economical “crisis”, who the hell understands it, and it was rigged already in the beginning. We cannot think in means of continuous growth because we do live in limited resources.
Islam and other religions and would it actually be possible to have a real discussion with critisism without being racist immediatly?
How can we take out “god” as an reason, from people’s heads.

So a lot. All of those discussions like my writings will not lead to anything, eventually. But it’s ok.
UG Krishnaurti is fun, although, there is some conflicting material.
I have no other way of communication than the words. Yes I do.

Well, I get anti social when I don’t really speak the language, when I’m too tired to trying to figure out what is taled about and what the hell is happening next. And specially when I say something and no one listens.

Find out that the workshop I though was surely going to happen is not sure. Trust trust. What my fears are attracting? But I didn’t have fear about that. I though it was sure. So when it isn’t yeah, slightly bit depressed.
Heard from brasil that the workshop I’m doing is not bringing as much money as they hope. Another pleasant surprise.
Money is money but for some reason we need it. Funny enough.
Actually what it brings is the sense in independence. I can eat what I want, I can go where I want. Of course it’s a false sense because eventually everything is interdependent, but at least it gives me more choices of what am I depended on. But the BSAS workshop are not really sure yet. So they will happen. Timing is just different here.

In two weeks I’ll be in airport and going to Brasil. And then the best news that after that in few days Sveta will be there as well. Now that is super.

Yesterday Autarco was leaving and already earlier on I had asked him if it would be possible to do a workshop in rosario, but then he was going to Uruguay. Unfortenutaly he’s lower back is so sore that he decided to skip the Uruguay (NSS workshop over there) and go back to Rosario and invited me to visit. So I thoght about intentions and such and asked again about the possibility of WS. Well.. of course with his back etc etc he can’t really organise it. Ok, so I gave up.
But I’m totally lost with this intention thing. How should it be? My intention is to teach but also come by with it. Like I need to eat, and I would like to choose what I eat. If I don’t say anything, nothing seems to come to me, if I say, I try to ask and suggest to people, nothing seems to come out of that either.

So my prayer stays. Where is my place and what is the thing that I’m supposed to do? And knowing buddhists. I know that there is nothing.
“But really there is nothing”
I know. And yet it would be nice every once in a while that there would be.

Elliott Smith is playing… Great stuff.

Yes I still hope that someone would come and tel me what to do. I understand well the dictatorships. Berlusconi, Putin etc.
What I want to do? To dance to teach, but I can’t seem to find a way…
I stop searching.
Not drifting.
Not flowing.

Oh yeah… If I didn’t mention it here. some stuff is over here now. It seems that because of instagram, iphone and wordpress software for it, viewtheday is dying out… but hey, let’s give it some time still.

Anyway after all of the complaining, I’ve met some very nice people and I have had not many dances per day but all of them nice ones.

Oh and from ibiza they asked if I could halp with the web pages again. And i kinda said yes.. but I think about it a bit still, because it will be for 3 festivals and they are not apying me anything… so.. I’m not sure do I want to go all 3 festivals anyway.

Sasha from moscow is here which is nice since.. well she’s nice. I try to sell myself to teach in moscow.
And for what reason? Well… I would like to go there anyway.
And I haven’t heard anything from Katja B yet and altay… let’s see.
I applied to Freiburg festival, they will answer on december.
And I talked with jenny to do another WS in freiburg maybe in march.

I don’t know. The ebst thing now is that Sveta is coming to Brasil as well. I’ve missed her a lot…
Well I still do. But now it’s not so much time.

Trust.

Again I think I have lot to write and whe I come here and try to write I go blank or hesitating.

In Buenos Aires, for second week. Festin is over, had a lovely jams, classes and performances as well.
Today or tomorrow to Mar del PLata for Jamarazo, More dancing.
What is missing is my love who is in far far away.
Hoping that she will come to brasil but since neither one of us is really good on money it’s a bit unsure still.
I still haven’t won lottery and I don’t know why.

Anyway what has been interesting is again these internal processes and meeting with fear of getting cheated or left.
Last night she called me, but I didn’t hear the phone. I look at my phone 1 hour later but since we have a 5 hours difference she was already sleeping and didn’t hear the phone.
I feel my body shaking, trembling, this little shake inside even before I think of anything… the fear (and excitement) is already there.
Then I’m thinking.. what is it….
She’s coming to brasil
She’s not coming to brasil
She just wanted to hear my voice
She is leaving me.

And somehow the first though get rejected by fear of getting dissapointed if she’s not coming. The second wont make much sense because why she would call for that. The third doesn’t make so much sense either and funnily it’s the most probable one, but the fear hits get it’s teeth on the last one… And I know it would not make much sense… but somehow the cycle goes on… and I talk to few lovely people and I dance… but my physical being is affected all the time of the not knowing…
That there was somehting and I know that there is something but I don’t know what.
All these circles of fear…

And I don’t know where it really comes from.
It doesn’t come from her. It comes from me.

Finding that I don’t love myself, or at least I have a hard time to really trust and believe that someone really wants to be with me and just me. And how do I judge myself then? what should I be to be more lovable? I don’t know. But I’ve heard so many judgements around me. And they’re also true. I’m not an easy person, but will that make me less lovable?
I have a tendency to try out of those who say that they love me, do they really. Do they really also when I’m not nice and easy. And I’m not talking about romantic relationships only but also friendships.

All of this is just interesting.
All of it is related of course to jealousy.
And few people have said that I should go to therapy.. but… I doubt that. (well now days in finland I could only get private therapy anyway and that means again, money). I don’t see what therapist possibly could tell me.
And anyway… I notice myself changing. Not much, little, by little.

Because it’s true, my ideals are ideals. They cannot be achieved, and yet. I hope they can. But mainly what an’t be achieved is the certainty that the ideal can be achieved. that it is. I know that the ideal is possibility, but I can’t know will that possibility happen. What I can is to work towards that and in relationship, again, communicate clearly what are my ideals, are they common with the other, and can we both work towards that ideal.
I’ve been trying to do that. Now, it would be great if I could be adult and calm with all of this, without fear or being able to handle the fear. But.. I’m not that yet. I’m just a little better than 10 years ago. Little, but better.

It’s also one of my cycles to go somewhere, have other part of the relationship somewhere else, and then deal with all of these feelings. I’m getting better at that too… because now, I can be bit more open and enjoying what I have around me over here, eventhough she’s not here. And yet, she’s somehow here, with me, in me. And if I could trust, I would be at ease. Not yet, but getting there.

Over here, Been having few lovely performances. Been having lovely dances. Been meeting lovely people. And been used to somehow understand what is beig talked about, yet missing the most important point totally.
Somehow I feel glad that Sasha from Moscow is here and will be at Jamarazo. Also Sebastian has been nice to have here. But also the whole organization team plus other teachers have been really really great.

haven’t played much with kaossilator… somethings.
Found one realy nice (beginning of a ) song (of mine) on my computer… I hope I can get guitar on my hands sometime soon…

After Jamarazo there should be few workshops in BSAS and then I’ll go to floripa… where I won’t understand much again because of portugese I understand nothing.
But over there few workshops, and few performances and then xmas and change of a year. I just hope that Sveta can get over there.

On the back of my mind, like quite long time now, is still thoughs about home and a place to live and stay. Travelling is nice if you have home to return to, but when you don’t have home.. and just traveling.. uh.

Haven’t done much of Thai now, hope in mar del Plata I can do more. I will offer it.

At the same time I’ve been doing the registration of SOS. Festival is full. Now I’m waiting to see the cancellations.
last year there was a lot, but somehow this year I feel that there will not be so much. Some really lovely old people coming, and a lot of new ones as well. I hope Monika gets herself there.

What to write… Personal, unpersonal…

Ah.. One reason to have a home and steady job is music. From Marko I got Silversun Pickups and it’s great. I don’t know how I have missed them.

Also new stuff coming all the time… So home and time to listen would be welcome as well.

Ask me.

Leaving today.

People in BSAS, be ready.

Melancholicly happy

Stepped in Dub

Yeah. so back in finland.

Got t new toy from app store. iKaossilator.
Great fun.
With two days I’ve made about 6 loops. I think these two are the nicest.
Although the rest of them are pretty nice too.. maybe I put them on later.

Make my day

Chinese Raga

Brilliant fun, not too diversive though. You have 16 beats maximum, so…

I’ll leave tomorrow to BSAS, very exiting.

This is somethig I’ve been meaning to write a long long time, but somehow, my writing about music never gets it.
I don’t have the theoretical base for that, and more importantly, unlike philosophy or religion, when we are not taking about ideas but an actual song, I find it hard to reason why am I writing and not just posting up music.

I found Monopot long time ago. Still living in outokumpu. They were on smalltown supersound, which was also releasing Kim Hiorthøy and Jaga Jazzist. I don’t remember much except that I founf bleep.com a mp3 shop and over there I had the chance to listen to the song, Hiorthøy and Monopot. At the time they had an bug on the player on their site. Mainly the player played 30 sec on anysong, but the ice thing was that you could choose any part of the song. THe bug was that if you put the song playing and then opened new tab on your browser it didn’t cut it to 30 sec but played the whole song.

I remember listening Sundried from their first album “something is like nothing was” and being happy. Such a simplicity, such a fullness and richness of feeling. Even now, after countless of listenings when I listen the song it brings the tears of joy in my eyes.

Few days I spent looking for a shop there to buy the actual physical albums. It was a bit hard, but then I think I found then sucha banal place as cdon.com.
They had made 2 albums and one ep and I ordered all of them at the same time.
Somehow I think I had heard Kim’s mix of Sane and really liked it (it’s still one of my favourite Hiorthøy tracks, because after remix it’s pretty pure Kim)

So I got the albums and they more or less blow me away.
From some review I had read this phrase of monopot being like Mogwai on valium. And someway that still rings true.
Somehow it doesn’t. Because of course when labelling things monopot vertainly has it’s attachments with post-rock, and what relates them to mogwai is the quality of songs. (Well, now mogwai has done several albums, some pieces good some bad, the advantage of monopot is that since they only made two albums they don’t have any of the “bad” songs). The music is slow, peaceful, melancholic, beautiful as…, lyrics are simple yet, brilliant although I rarely really listen what are they saying, for me it’s more about the atmosphere that they greate. I often notice that I have a lot of lines of the lyrics on my head.
One important thing, at least for me, that really mmm separates (maybe too strong word, but still) Monopot from the most of the “post-rock” acts is that they don’t really do these huge crecendos, somehow everything always stays mm.. not controlled, but on the stream… like it doesn’t spill over, the intensity is made huge by having it in the stream, not spilling it over the edges. And it’s one of the things that really makes the music so extremly powerfull, such a slowliness yet such power and intensity.
Actually when I think aout it the whole term post-rock doesn’t seem to apply so much on to them. Maybe post-pop. Like there is rock, for sure, it’s a trio. But in the repetition and simplicity of the song is also huge amount of pop sensibility.

Some people are holding one album better than other. for me they’re both great and I don’t see any sense holding either one better, because we are moving in such a spheres of brilliancy that there’s no point trying to pin don which one would be better. Of course “something is like nothing was” is older, by the sounds somehow and production.
The sound world of Optipess is more lush… but is it better. For those songs it is better.

Speaking about the lushess… Listen the opening of the album Diamant… It’s like someone is pouring honey (in all the good senses) all over you.. like a slow welcomed avalanche of honey…

Liquid drop on paper…

These two albums (I have to say that I haven’t listened the 4 song ep that much) have been absolutely saviours ever since I heard them. They have been all the time on my iPod (If you look at my last fm stats monopot is on second, and they only have two albums, so it tells something how many times I’ve been listening those albums over again)

Everytime I’ve felt that I need them, never has the music failed to save me, to bring me back or take me away.

For a long time I was looking for new albums, tried to figure out what has happened (there’s not much info on the net of them) but I didn’t found much. last december One kind souls posted me through last.fm that I should check Black Smoke Records and Rally and Summen on their rooster. According to the site Rally is somehow continuation of monopot. Later Rally changed the name to Summen. And true I can hear monopot there. And thus far both albums are great as well. Only thing that I miss is the voice, the singing, the words. Nevertheless I am really greatfull that the same musical vein is continuing (quite a lot actually, listen to Smalltown Superbored from Optipess and then listen to Blind Crest from Rally’s Spoiler, same same but different). Since the last december (you can download the albums for free) also those two have been on my iPod continuously. And they have the same quality, I can’t really pick bad songs in there. But I miss the voice.

Anyway. I really really recommend that you visit Black Smoke Records and get those albums. And if possible give them some money as well. Of Monopot, I really recommend that you find and buy the albums. I’m not sure how easily you can find them from internet, but nevetheless. For sucha great music, it would be nice that the makers would get something.

Enjoy.

From Something Is Like Nothing Was:
Once

Sundried

Alien Me Alien

From Optipess:
Diamant

Bomb of Bliss

Smalltown SuperBored