stairs

I’ve registered for two CI festivals this summer. I don’t have the faintest idea where I’ll get the money but I think I will. Both festivals are in the neighbourhood. Close country, near by. I have to prepare myself to everything like always.

Anyway I hope it’s good.. maybe next summer or the one after that I’ll get myself teach there. Maybe not.

And there’s NIM of course, but that doesn’t count, somehow.


Nadja hit the spot with Bodycage and specially the beginner Clinodactyl. Ended up getting them. Not all of course because there’s plenty. Can’t really understan what the hell mister Baker does alldays. No I tell a lie, I can, he probebly makes records. One after another.


Nothing else to be really enthustiastic about since Aerial, which still is awesome.


Oh and I made copies of “save my breath” to sale. Order one. 7€ with the postage. If we meet somewhere, then it’s 5.


I got the domain changed to another web hotel provider. Same place as this is. They’ve having some difficulties with getting my e-mail work. Buggers. Waveway’s e-mails have been a problem for some time. They’ve been promising to renew it (fix it) like 4 months now. I sure as hell hope that this won’t be the case with dd.
Deeply annoyed, but they’re cheap. This is how it shows.


A big bunch of people (me included) are plannig to have CI festival here in Finland next year. It will happen, as soon as we find a nice place with at least 3 good dance spaces, which in one would have to fit about 80 people to jam at once. Surprisingly hard. Any ideas, send me a note.

Good night, and good luck to you all.

Sorrows weep not

lalalalala

Now I have made an paypal dispute(?), I try to get my money back from staalplaat since it seems I won’t get my cd’s. They don’t even answer. But this webhotel provider answered, finally, which was nice.

I ended up ordering some of the same cd’s I ordered from staalplaat again from microsuoni. So there is a fair chance that I’ll end up having two copies of 4 cd’s. Let’s see. I just hope I get my money back.


And again when I have money I have a great urge to use it, fast fast fast. I would like to get a new stereo amplifier, but I don’t have that much money, and even if I had, which is good? Good enough. Same thing with the speakers. I visited one hifi shop and the person there recommended me some things but I would like know more. The problem is that you shoud listen yourself. How does it sound?


On jesterboard was a question are there some artist whose album you will buy anyway, without listening. I answered Do Make Say Think, but now having listened “You, you’re history in rust” I have to re-think. I also have to listen to it again and again.


I’ve been meaning to write more about those performances I saw the other week. Somehow I just can’t get myself to do it. Should I rather do it in Finnish? I don’t know. Let’s try now.

Two pieces from the same choreographer. Both somehow sad or melancholic, but reason more being with the music used and my own emotional state at the time of perceiving. I liked them both.

The first one (solo) brought Maija’s work to my mind. There was some clear connection in the form (for me). Use on speech and language, the tone of speech, official, bit statement like, clear. In movement language the similarities was in exactness, preciseness, sharpness although the actual movement was very, very different.
Other differencies: In this piece the speech commented movement, creation of it (choreographing). The movement was movement made. I don’t know did it say anything. So all in all the piece was about making a dance piece and performing it, being a dancer, being a choreographer. The relationship between speech and movement was somehow one sided. Speech was commenting the doing, creating of something.

In Maija’s work the speech relates to friends, parenthood, social connections. The movement might say something else, it might comment the speech, it might comment something completely else. The relationship between speech, movement, music, and video is quite equal. All of them are tools to express something about the world, social connections, humans.

Some words about the second piece.

The second piece (quintet) had very much similarity with the first one. Use of speech, but this time the tone was more friendly, laid back, conversational. Of course there was more persons to have conversations with. Movement was very similar to the first. Again speech commented movement, choreography, memory of it, and this time also some personal things. This was somehow intriguing to me. Since the movement didn’t have any connection to those personal things or that personal stuff said had anything to do with the movement, it showed out very clearly where the person lies in dance. To me they came person when talking, when being in front of audience not dancing, when moving but not “dancing”. As soon as they went into clearly choreographed dance their persona faded. This, of course, is not true. I could see how they are and I’m quite sure that everything, every walk, glance, movement was choreographed, not only those “dance” movement.
[why I use "dance"? What I mean by it? All of it was dance. What I mean with "dance" is a clear series, phrases that they usually did in unison of different groups]
But If I would have to say the differences in their movement while doing that phrase stuff, I would find it very hard.

Again the piece concentrated on dance, making dance, making choreography.
This brought my mind what Yvonne Rainer said when she was asked why she stop doing dance pieces and went into film making. She explained that she felt that with dance is only possible to comment dancefield it self, it’s history, it’s values, it’s present state, but maybe not so much of society, it’s values, it’s history, it’s present state [< - this is my interpretation totally, maybe she didn't mean this, maybe she said something else]

But by commenting making dance and making choreography you can also tell something more general about human beings, sure.

I’m not reaching the conclusions here, but nevermind. I’m trying to say that I myself value works that say something about society, asks how we work as humanbeings, not how we work as dancers or choreographers. But at the same time I try not to say this too strongly. It doesn’t mean that I would not value works that are only commenting dance within the dance. Like I said I really likes both pieces I saw.


Premiere is on saturday. Yesterday we still talked about big changes, today we have to try them out before six when the test audience arrives. I better get going.

Good night and good luck to you all.

I tend to forget

pretty picture

I got this postcard from a friend. I tend to forget. I guess originally it was a flyer for some dance(?) piece, I don’t know. But it’s a great title for any piece.

This house I’m living is quite cold now. The walls are covered with kyprok, it means we can’t hang much painting, pictures etc onto the walls. Well, we are moving.


Nobody answers me. I’ve been mailing staalplaat a lot. I ordered them a bunch of albums on 1.2.07 They haven’t arrived, they haven’t answered. Sad bastards. I’ve ordered from them before with no problems. I don’t know what’s the point. And this webhostel provider where whis page is, is renewing their mail system. I cannot make new mail boxes. This been the case for about 3 months now. They said that this renewing would be ready on beginning of 2007. I’ve mailed their “helpdesk” for three times now, No answer. Sad bastards.


Say what you like, but pod’s lovely. Right now I’m listening reverb by Alva Noto and Ryuichi Sakamoto and the first piece is absolytely stunning, very different than the stuff on Vrioon and Insen but really lovely. Actually it’s just very suitable for my mood now. It doesn’t make it less lovely though.

Listened through Cult of Luna’s Salvation and suddenly realised that at least now I actually like Somewhere along the Highway even more. When I first listened “Somewhere…” I felt it was good but not as brilliant as Salvation. Things change. Our perception changes.


I went to see two dance pieces today. Liked them both, but I can’t help thinking how useless and hopeless this all is. Even though I felt that the pieces mainly comment about dance, choreography and making of those two, it still made me feel sad. Its good to ask my own motivation for doing things. How to do things? Why why why. And the never fading: What is important and what do you really want to do?

I don’t read the handprograms nowdays, or if I do I read them after the seeing the piece. Usually I just check what was the music. Why?

Do I really need to know what was the base for the piece, why is it made? Art is made to be perceived, not explaned. Ok, not all hand programs explain, many of them don’t, but some of them do. Book is written to be read, Song is sung to be heard. If I need to explain what is this piece about, why do I do the piece?

If you read books, how many good backside have you read? Ususally on the back of the book is some words that try shortly explain what the book is about. Why bother. Those text are always (with a few exceptions) crap.

What if I wouldn’t have to validate my art by explaining it, what if doing it would be enough. It is enough.

Wedding days

dunno

Good luck to you.

Weddings are normally nice. These were, at least to the point when we had to leave. I hope it continued nice.


Heisu performances are almost over. Tomorrow is the last one. Somehow it’s nice, I’ll have a bit more free time, but at the same time I hope that we will have the chance to perform it later, somewhere.

H&K continues, premiere is quite quite soon.


I finally got meself an iPod, which is nice since I have a lot of new music that I have to, no, that I want to listen through, and since I’m not so much home, iPod is great help. And I like new toys like always. It’s 8G which I realised will be sufficient for me. 30G would be too much, especially since my iMac only has usb 1.1, it took ages to tranfer even that 7G to my pod (8G= real capasity 7,4G)


So what I’ve been listening to…

Yes one good thig about pod is that now I can update my lastfm profile with music I’ve listened on my journeys to and fro…

I got “time like vines” from She Said Destroy (which is mentioned in previous post), And I really like it. Although I don’t recommend reading the lyrics. I have also listened some Process Of Guilt, which is… Well there is something that reminds me of old anathema, which isn’t bad, but I’m not sure… well the album was cheap anyway.
Yesterday I got “new” mister Basinski “variations for piano & tape” which sounds like Basinski, surprisingly, but doesn’t really blow me away. Also got The Samuel Jackson Five “easily misunderstood” which I did listen through but I don’t remember much. I’ll give it more changes.

Well there’s a lot of new albums coming and coming and even more new music thanks to friends. But right now, for this short while I’m in quite nice situation where I dance as a work to make money to buy music. Nice, I hope it will continue. Although I still think I should also go to work in radio and play some good music there.


One more music recommendation: Bass Communion & VidnaObmana – Continuum recyclings vol 1, side 4. Perfect.

Good night and good luck to you all.

New Releases…

boat boat a ship a boat

Rehealsals or Practise of Heisu is getting easier. Since it’s almost ready, we just warm up and go through it. So suddenly I have a plenty of time. Well not everyday, but today. And since there’s a jam in C4 anyway [edit: Anna just came in and told me that todays jam is in B2, oh well], why bother to leave. Zodiak has a “new” iMac here so I’ve been here surfing.


Actually I found out these news already last monday:

New Jesu, Conqueror, is coming on this month, very soon. Jesu is also relesing other stuff, annoyingly on limited vinyl editions. I don’t mind vinyl, but that vinyl is usually expensive to order from abroad and because it’s limited it’s hard to get from the local shops. For more news of Jesu go here


Constellation has been releasing a lot of stuff lately. I have totally fallen off, I heard some Carla Bo..?? and it didn’t really convinced me, but they’re also releasing this, which can’t be bad. Well of course it can, but I really really don’t think so. Again problem is that I want it in vinyl. I could order it straight from canada though. Let’s see.


Visiting Supersilent and Rune Grammofon I found out that Shining and Arve Henriksen are both releasing new albums through Rune, which is great. I still don’t have Arve’s earlier works, but they’re on the list. Last shining “in the kingdom…” was great and at least the samples at their myspace promises that the new one will be great as well.


Right now I’m waiting a few packages from abroad bringing me some releases of raster-noton and intr-version. I also finally ordered Arvo Pärt‘s Alina (by ecm) and Max Richter‘s “Songs from before” plus EF‘s “give me beauty… or give me death”. Some stuff from neurot recordings will reach me hopefully soon also.


I notice that my “good things” very often include or are some real things. Like this time I got meself a new printer which will allow me to print almost photo like quality. It’s great for the next 8cm cd-r release I am making. Another is 50mm objective for my camera, and because it’s a digital camera that 50mm has to be x 1,6 so actually it’s an 80mm with 1,8F which is nice because it’s so hard to find enough light nowdays.


About that next 8cm cd-r release: Right now I think it will contain four songs. All of them are played with acoustic guitar and sung. Very simple stuff like always. It feels that I have the songs already desided although some lyrics are still waiting to be finished. I hope I can start to record stuff after Heisu performances are over, so around the end of february. Let’s see. My aim is actually record more stuff and then pick those four songs out, but already now it feels that I know which ones they will be. I also know that recording stuff is never easy for me. I try to take it easy and relaxed. Hopefully everything will be ready around may with the music, layout, cover’s and stuff. Then I only need to find people to buy it.


Some more advertisements. Go to aversion online if you want to find new metal/hc stuff. After my last visit I decided to get She Said Destroy’s album (I haven’t got it yet though) and Wolverine Brass’s latest which I’m not even sure how will I get it. I think I can find SSD from local music store but Wolverine Brass is probably a bit harder to find.


Good night and good luck to you all.

B | P | reach

bottlee

Visited St. Petersburgh, nice town. Always terrible to be in a country where you don’t understand a word, and they even have different kind of letters so it’s very easy to be totally lost. Well I wasn’t since I was taken care of, thanks for them. I had a quite thight schelude… I start from the beginning.

I went there on friday, with this kind of small buss, you know, maybe 13 people or so. Luckily on the same buss came young couple from which the man spoke some russian. He helped me a bit with the immigration(?) stuff, you know, this kind of paper you have to fill, who you’re, when you enter the country, when you’re going to leave and so on. This form was only in russian so I didn’t understand any of it, but he kindly translated it to me.

In St.Pete I found Olga quite easily, and she took me to theatre and to see the piece’s of that evening. She also hosted me and it was very nice to have a own room with freshly made bed.

On saturday I hanged out and walked a bit. I met Noora and Katja in the town (Olga kindly provided me a map) and we ate some fastfood dinner. Katja new where the theatre was (it was different plae than on friday) and she took us there. Noora had rehearse time around 18. Performances were scheluded to start at 20.30 and we had time for technical stuff 20 minutes per performer, starting on 18. Well we went there at six. It was a huge building. The only stage we found was full of young girls doing discodance or whatever you call it nowdays? hiphop,street,whatnot. So we thought that we’re on a wrong place but it turned out that the place was right, they just hadn’t finished their dance competition in time (yes, every child had a number on them). So we wait, and we wait a bit more, and the problem was that I wanted to catch the night bus which was leaving around 22, and it didn’t seem like it was going to happen since their dance competition kept going on and on. So finally I suggested to Marina, who was the main organizer, that I do my piece in the lobby and first. Of course she agreed and this way people performing on stage got some more time to check their technical stuff.

The performance itself went quite nicely, I’m sure it could have gone better, but also a lot worse. I made it my bus and spent the night traveling back to helsinki.

All and all I noticed that I worry too much, well I knew this already. And that I don’t really like that much travelling. Still, I’ll be happy to go there again, but with much looser schelude. If I go I’ll have three days off after my performance so even if timetables don’t keep, I don’t have to hurry and worry anywhere.


Breach came across and I wonder how the hell I haven’t really heard them before. Right now I’m listening through the third album (not their third, but third for me) and they sound good. Earlier on there was something that reminded me of Entombed’s “wolverine blues” and that cannot be bad. I feel that there has been a lot of same kind of bands lately, but Breach been around already from 90′s and they’re gone already in beginning of 00′s so were they ahead of their time? Or maybe everybody else is just late.
from “friction” – Curfew

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from “it’s me god” – Bloodlines

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from “venom” – Diablo

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from “kollapse” – lost crew

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First rehearsals today. It went on quite nicely although I still feel that dancetheatre holds great challenges for me and I just hope I can cope it. But the workgroup seems to be very nice.


Contra is finally here and it’s a double album, but both albums are around 30 minutes long. So the actual music could have fitted into one album easily? Is there something that I haven’t noticed? Can be. It can also be that Once We Were wanted to really divide the album on different sides more concretely than just stating it in cd sleeve. Their lay out is superb btw. And I also got “winter kept us warm” which sound really brilliant too.
Neither of the cd has their mp3 single Repulsion. Which I understand, but since Repulsion is truly great piece of work I add it here, You can still find it in tenderversions site, so go there and download also the artwork.

Once We Were – Repulsion

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And through last.fm found Ben Frost and the samples in his myspace site sounds really quite nice. Have to check into his work more.


My mobile listening pleasure has been Ulver’s “blood inside”. Truly a Great album.

Sshhh

surface surface

Yesterday.
Susanna and the magical orchestra started the set. Orchestra being Morten Qvenild, and what a great orchestra he is. Slightly weird but a great fun. Really really beautiful set of music and as Morten said a couple of times also a great audience. We kept our mouths shut and listened the songs. The AC/DC cover was the.. not the best but biggest revelation.

After Susanna was In The Country, so Morten again. What can I say, jazz. Very enjoyable, but I have to listen to the albums before I get them. Nevertheless some Truly great moments. Suddenly the drummer takes up the mic and changes the beat totally, Morten takes a piece of duck tape and put inside the piano, on the strings. Then they start this chord progression and all of them start to sing. The same chord progression goes on long enough it to become magical and then the song ends. GREAT.

And the last was Supersilent. Really great stuff. Again the keyboardist was awesome. Actually these guys really work as a live also visually. I mean the keyboardist was so weird, so serious, so funny, really working. The drummer was keeping his eyes closed almost for the whole gig. Electronics guys’ face I didn’t see. Trumpetist who was also playing another set of drums burst out smiling to no one every once in a while. It’s so pleasing to see people working and also enjoying their work. How did it sound? hard to say really. Sometimes noise, sometimes beautiful, sometimes not. But it all worked. And sometimes there was magic too. Only complain I have is that I felt their set was too short. I could have listened a bit more.

I’m so happy that I noticed that gig and I’m so happy that I went. Actually I think that because of this experience I will and go see Jon Auer on tomorrow.

Today I went to see perception score. Maija’s Solo version. I laughed quite a bit. It’s really awesome how she links all her (?) works together. At least in my opinion she does that, and it’s awesome. There’s continituity of some kind. I hope I can see “To the Dance Floor” somewhere. I think I’ll not go to Turku this time. Not sure though.

Today I also got the rowingboat out of ice with the big help of my landlord, and we set the pier to winter condition. I also took stuff here from my father’s. So now I have 16-tracker here and mic and my acoustic guitar. Tomorrow I should do something with them I guess.
Actualy what I should do is work on with “save my breath”. But on that later when it becomes more certain.

Getting to perform to russia seems to be quite confusing. Let’s see.

Later.

Back Home

building a building

I’m back home and everythings the same. Net is still down quite some time. I have to call them again, I guess. Visited Denises diary and apparently she’s leaving to Berlin. Very good for her.

NIM was great, I’m not quite sure why but I felt that this time I had very good dances with people and everyday. Maybe I’ll get back into this later.

Found out that Mirva’s iPod holds within an lot of stuff I already have and some stuff I want to hear. Argh.

Helsinki is such a nice small town, in a way.

From beginning:

After the sunday jam I hang out with some girls and then went to Sunniva and Jonas for the night. I left early monday morning with the boat from which I bought some deodorants and sweets. Got into Turku where I met Jutta and ate some cheap but not so good kebab. Found out that Jojo had Sonic Youth’s Rather Ripped and I want one too (I bought it on vinyl for R, though). She got the shirts finally ready which was nice. Called Tanja and send a message to Anski, fixed up dates. Today met Tanja and had some ice cream, it has become a tradition. Went to the train where I met Anski and talked the whole trip through. Went to HKL’s office and got myself a new travel card and one month time of travel. Met Weazie there, unexpectedly, went with him to the bank and then to coffee. Went to TEAK and got a teaching from Ulla. Got home, I was lucky since it’s almost fullmoon and clear sky, I didn’t have a light with me but I saw all the same, Thanks moon.
Why am I telling this all? I don’t know, it’s been very nice to meet people, that’s all I want to say.

Kim been still on my headphones, the whole time.

And Ingrid was so nice to translate a bit of “Ting Som Virker”.

Yes.

Watershed

misty windows

It’s been raining. The rain got me outside for a while. The water started to come in, next to the chimney first. I called my landlord who said that it has happened before, and it just need some silicone insulation and that he’s coming tomorrow. But then water started drop out of the roof about meter away from the chimney. Not funny at all. I called him again and he though that it’s still probably the chimney but that the water travels a bit inside the roof. He said that the roof breathes so it will dry out, but of course it would be nice that there wouldn’t be so much water to dry out. So I went to the roof with a headlamp, plasticbags, tape and a piece of thin rope. I tried to tie plasticbags around this seam which is probably leaking. I also tried to see if there’s any marks on the roof but I didn’t really see any. Well, probably he’s right about the chimney seam.

My father’s place just had water damage. I still don’t know has the plumbing leaked or has the upstairs neighbour had a really bad day, but there was a lot of water. Lucky my 16-tracker didn’t catch any. Houses should be for water staying out and us inside dry. Not funny at all.

Didn’t got money from TKT for travelling to Russia to perform so now I just filled an application for sleipnir. If I don’t get the grant I cannot go.

Got mail from KELA that they’ll give me 170€ after all, oh how nice. That’s almost half of my rent so I guess it’s noworries then.

Updated to WP 2.0.4 which went quite easily except I missed a couple of things first.

Been listening a lot of music today. Just now Jim O’Rourke’s insignificance which is really quite quite good.
Also good deal of Ulver.

I read Thud by Pratchett and it was very nice. They’re quite the same but somehow right now I like these A-M story lines, like night watch, going postal, the truth and so on. It seems that The Witches has been out of storyboard for a while, except with Tiffany Aching, but it’s not really the same is it. But I just said I like these A-M storylines so it’s ok with me. I’m sure Granny Weatherwax shall return on some point.
Since everything is so depressing (is it really?) I started to read “the last continent”, good fun.

Good night.

After the rain

juniper

They say that unless we have some heavy rain before the cold comes, the underground water resources will be lower than ever. And at the same time there’s a bunch of people saying that there’s no need to worry about global warming. Well it is true that earth has it’s cycles. There has been many ice ages, there will be one again. Seasons change. We will vanish.

So unnoticed we pass away, like a flickering in a perpetual chaos
– At the Gates

According to some scientist, we as a race, have been here a lot lesser time than what the dinosaur were. This is just another try out. Will this work will his work will this work. We should know by now that it won’t, probably. That’s the thing, we don’t know. It’s hard to believe, after all we seen.

Another journalist murdered. But it isn’t related.

The question is why we keep on living? In so many cases there doesn’t seem to be any point. There’s no point.
Only thing that keeps us living is the life itself.
ets.

Ecki’s CI course was very good, very easy in a way, very technical in a way, very nice people in a way. Good teacher to be sure. All the info about NIM is coming but I feel it’s too late, I hope I can make it there but it doesn’t look too good.

I heard bad news how people do bad things with words. Very very annoying. I mean, there’s no other way than trust our own work completely and not listen what others have to say. But then it runs a great risk of becoming totally blind and so introvert that the work doesn’t touch anyone else except yourself. But why we want to put ourselves, well some of us, into this position where anyone can like or dislike. And your change to work or live from your work is so tightly tied to those likes/dislikes. Who likes who dislikes. Where do I want to belong?

What nourishes us. How much rain do I need, and how much sun?

The tragedy is that since there’s no “have to”‘s and no “must”‘s I have to decide from almost limitless options how to live my life. Every way is the right way?

we drift on….

Listening: atg and philip glass
read: interesting times by Terry Pratchett once again
watching: galactica

switch on switch off

work off

Net still down for the most of the day.
Repairman called me today and said he will look into it. Certainly.

Still watching Galactica and will be watching for some time.
Deadwoods anyone? Bring them to me.

Another morning and I just couldn’t get myself up. There was lot to do today and I didn’t do it.

So I left the Island about 17 to go CI practise. Good that I did. At first seemed that there would be only four people but then we turned out to be six. We did the underscore, basically. But with this sense of space, connections and wholeness that I haven’t experienced in CI jam before. I have experienced in dance improvisation with orientation on improvisating, with or with out physical contact, but not with a jam or space which is concentrating heavily on physical contact. When we set up tuesdays this autumn there was a lot of discussion about the low energy. Well today when I went there I had a low energy, when I noticed there’s only 6 of us, it didn’t really helped, when we started circle I had low energy and it seemed that everybody else had also. But then when we started walking, standing and warming up it really expanded. There is and was energy and willingness to use it, put it into space, put it into the dance, dancing. Very happy that I got myself there.

At some point I have to write about cynicism.

Not to forget music: If I haven’t mentioned Ryoji Ikeda’s VPRO live album is awesome. It’s pretty old I guess, but if anyone has it on cd. I would like to have a backup. I have it on vinyl.

Brewing ideas for the new darlingdear lay out still. I’m afraid it’s going to be a heavy frames version.

Today made me think about doing 5th draft of “mercy” with some one. Who could it be? And when the hell I’m able to finish/perform the 2nd with Noora?

Hm, would some radio station hire me?

if it’s once I got it

windows

if it’s twice I don’t…

Opened my flcker account today to put up some pictures from Oku Jam.
search with waveway if you want to find them. Nothing special to be sure, it’s really hard to take good pictures out of CI. This we know.

Visited unenployment office, they were quite nice. I think I have to visit them again after 4-5 months.

N called me and asked do I know anything about applying money for the trip to ST.Petersburgh. I don’t know a thing but luckily there’s another applying season just before we go. Now it would be easier of course, but we have 3 days to do the application and I don’t know a thing.

Found some live’s from DMST finally from the archive. You should visit. And of course took the Mogwai’s Helsinki gig on my computer.

Recorded some more guitars today. Hard hard hard. Hardest to find right tempo for the click. I have such a clear visions about the layout, I wish I had as clear thoughts about lyrics and production.

Having problems with this video.waveway.org. More space. In other words I have to decide what I’ll take of to make space for something new.

Played with flash a bit this mornign. bugger bugger bugger.

One advice, Space.

Since lastfm doesn’t take everything I listen:

Ryoji Ikeda – VPRO live
Steve Reich – Six pianos
Philip Glass – Glassworks

Reading – Da vinci code. My god the language is crappy, but the story goes along nicely.

Just another

again and again and again
Silver is just another gold?
Doesn’t make sense. I hear wrong, probably. Nevertheless Silver is brilliant. It’s much more, um, happy than the previous precious, but it’s still clearly Jesu and it’s really good. 2nd album is on process. Jeij we say.

I’m living with anxiety. I’m feeling anxiety. I knew it’s coming but it’s always as unwelcome. Things are changing and I don’t know to what and how and why and. Most of all I don’t know much. I’m scared as always in these situations. Studying is so easy since you have quite simple day/week/month/year programme, but then (now) when it’s done. There’s nothing. I’m not sure what I want to do. Or I am, I want to play like I’ve been playing, with music, with visuals, with movement. But now I should make somekind of living out of it, which means money. I really don’t know who is willing to pay me for playing. The play is work, it’s serious and it has a function, but it’s not as clear function as it would be sitting on a shop counter, etc.

And right now I’m really annoyed that I went and got the degree out of social work. Why? I can’t really be unemployed, they’ll have work for me on socialfield straight away. It just isn’t anything I would like to do AND the pay is lousy. I wouldn’t mind watching kids or helping youngsters if I would be payed, oh let’s say a 2000€/month minus taxes. I could do that half a year and then take other half off. The problem is, they’ll pay for that probably something like 1300€/month minus taxes and that really isn’t a lot if you consider the responsibility of the job and the overall hardness. And anyone claiming it’s not hard, spend 2 weeks with 20 five year old and come talk to me then.

So I don’t like where I am at the moment. Things will clear and shift and be foggy again and the clear again. It’s not that bad I know, but I can’t really help how I feel.

What if we wouldn’t have to worry about money ever again.

I came today from helsinki where I spent a couple of days mainly watching dance. Good performances, although I’m coming to conclusion that to me it’s harder and harder to say something bad about perfromances. Just like with the books. I rarely read a bad book, occasionally yes. It’s seems that within this last year I’ve rarely seen bad performances, occasionally. It’s hard to say that performance is bad. Even from the stuff I don’t get anything, I know that somebody else will, and I know in most of the cases lately, that the performer is really putting herself to it and doing the work honestly and with clear intent. So who the hell I am saying it’s a bad performance. I can say that I did’t get anything out of it or that I didn’t like it, but that’s about it.

About somethings I saw:

Well, I liked R surprisingly lot. I wasn’t so sure why she is doing what she is doing before hand eventhough we talk quite a lot. But seeing her actually performing really opened my mind and woke up some serious questions about humanity, humans and the process of learning/getting something done. And the movement was really clear, sharp [the way babies are] and well studiet. I was kinda worried how the other people will take the work, but all the things I’ve heard have been really positive, from which I’m really glad. Since you probably don’t know what she was doing I’ll open it this much: She has studiet babies, movement and developmental movement patterns for sometime now and the whole performance was that process of learning/evolving from lying to standing [to put it simple].

Raisa was… I don’t know what she was. Breathing, moving beautifully, letting us sense. This is the things that words really don’t reach that much. You have to see her work I guess. Like, it was nothing special in a way and that was so special about it.

I also liked a lot of Maija’s piece. Can’t say much out of it, except that the sounds she got from her friend were great. There was two people credited for sounds, and all sounds worked, but specially the ending of the piece with all the red lights flashing and “your hand is warm inside, warm inside, cold outside”. Movement was really sharp, solid and clear. Small cycles repeating. Didn’t think much.

It won’t be so hard, not for you not you…
Do I hear right? Listen for yourself. Jesu-silver-star

Instead hanging out here, I should get sleep and start packing.
Maybe I’ll read a bit first.

Which brings to mind that because getting myself always in a hurry to leave I forgot to take books with me on wednesday when I left. I got that covered by going to bookshop in Joensuu and getting Gaiman’s “Anansi Boys”. Not bad at all. got me laughing out loud a couple of times and was very very entertaining. I think I have to read “American Gods” again. I still have an opinion that his graphic novels, like the whole sandman series and let’s say “violent cases”, are better than is actual books, but I’m not 100% sure. I have to read Sandmans again. Maybe I’ll have time on this summer. I’ve already packed them.

Do you ever sit on a bus or a train and look all those houses and all the people living their life and just feel so utterly overwhelmed by the futility and the emptiness of it all? And it’s not some teenage angst I’m talking about now. It’s the feeling I got from the book “ole luonani aina” [never let me go] of which I talked about here. That’s the feeling, that we can’t really do that much and what’s the use anyway and…. I wonder how all those really depressed people get on with their days.

good night and good luck to you all.

to be here…

winter time winter chime

My middle fingers is still swollen and hurt. I try to use it as an excuse to not start writing yet. It won’t help at all since the text have to be ready anyway on next monday morning. Today I spent afternoon outside construcKting my thoughts. Everything is raeledto everything so how do I structurize the text? Time order won’t do, I don’t know what will, multilayered. Anyway I have to start soon if not today then tomorrow. if not today, how I’ll use the rest of my day? Outside.

Just visited library. There’s plenty of books and I’ll have plenty of time after next monday.
The nice thing was that the man who was working there thanked me for the performance. I do not know is he a relative of someone from my class, but what does it matter. It’s was very nice. My work is affecting somehow.

Jesu’s Silver is coming as is William Basinski’s Garden of Brokenness, finally. Although I’m pretty sure I’ll be dissapointed to silver. I’m expecting too much after heart ache and debut. I try not to expect anything but I know I do.

Is this in anyway important to any of us. Probably not. yesterday I added some text to darlingdear’s “kirjoituksia” part. Today I’ll add one more I guess. Maybe some of them have some importance, maybe not.

I think I’ll get the masonne too.

It looks like one of my friend moved to denmark. can’t be too happy for her though since I think the reasons of moving are not the best possible but hey, what do I know. And to be honest I’m not quite sure what her reasons are and how long she’s going to stay there. And if she can be happy everything is fine. Running away is the most usual thing to do for us humans though.

I need some more pictures. That’s what I need.

What you will settle? What do you need?

Long weekend

Nothing to do not even with you...

So on friday I was playing music in a club. It went badly. My dance music isn’t other people’s dance music. Luckily there was two other DJ’s who’s dance music was other people’s dance music. I got to dance a lot and was enjoying myself like many others (mainly from dance department though, a bit dissapointment there) So I had hours of fun. From there some of us continued to next door neighbour listened more music and danced some more, although not so enthusiasticly. Next day went by on the terrace/middle roof/whatnot. It’s sunny and hot and we had a breakfast (around two pm) and a lunch and a evening snack (chai and blueberry pie) and then went off to our private movies which was showing the million dollar baby. Surprisingly touching movie. Suicide/eutanasia is really ok, on some cases really. Why a person can’t be in charge of her/his life? S/He should. Today went on a same tracks. Except I didn’t attend to dinner/evening snack since I was rehearsing “mercy is…” wit Troll and got my left middle finger hurt. My own fault completely, and very annoying. Even writing this is harder. I’m a bit worried but I think it will be ok after the swolling goes down. Oh and todays lunch was chocklad cake and ice cream and evening movie was jackie brown, which seemed a bit slow this time. Right now, it feels like that friday night is weeks away, eventhough nothing has really happened, we’ve been just hanging out in the roof.

Listening Lali Puna, very good.

I have a week for writing the essay from my final work, actually the writing is a part of the work. It should be returned next week monday. I’m feeling quite confident, but I hope my middle finger will heal soon.

Good night and good luck to you all.

Fallen Angel

save me when I feel

Resent Key: King Crimson – Red – Fallen Angel

ConstrucKtion of light came out 2001 I guess. Listen to it, back into frying pan has one of the most brilliant guitar solos ever. I mean the one in the end. And the whole album is very very very good. Bringing in waves of enjoyment. And listening Red, please tell me what’s the difference between progressive and metal. Well you can be both, and you can be just “progressive” and you can be just “metal” but KC was both already in ’70. And as I listen more of KC I start to believe this thing that Fripp has said that when there is music coming that only KC can play then KC forms.

Seeing (and hearing) Laura’s solo I was reminded of “Drawing Restraint 9″ or more exactly the score that Björk has made for the movie. She is brilliant my god. Although I like Homogenic and Vespertine much more than Médulla. Let’s hear what she brings up next.

So FinalWork in Kiisu is done. Today was the last piece of trilogy (III). Big thank you to William Basinski for giving the permission to use his music in the middle (II) part.

Better get to sleep. Now.

Swervie

tiles tiles tiles tiles tiles

…Power shall shimmer on, shattered glass crushed among….
[now, according the lyrics on swervedriver.com it's paua shell, but this one is much more nicer]

Been listening to Swervedriver, which was one of the most awesome… no I don’t have the right adjective. The first two albums, Raise and Mezcalhead are just so great. To be honest I mostly listen just a few songs from both albums. Well three to five from Raise: Pile-up, Deep Seat and Rave down plus sci-Flyer and Son of a mustang ford. And about six from mezcalhead: For seeking heat, Duel, Blowin’ cool, MM Abduction, Harry and Maggie, Duress and sometimes Never lose that feeling/never learn. It’s not that the rest of the songs on those albums would be in anyway bad, it’s just that songs like Pile-up, Deepseat, Rave Down, For seeking heat, Duel, etc are just one of the best songs that 90′ ever produced. Man that band was so Awesome!!! But then the third album wasn’t that good and neither was the last(4th) one. They have their moments too, but in my opinion are far from these first two. Just yesterday or day before I realised that Blowing cool might be one of the rare songs with lyrics that are happy and that I still really like. Usually happy songs are crap. But these are not. But then again the beauty of the songs lies in the feeling that to me is most of all… Bummer does english have a word for that? haikea = sad; poignant. Now I don’t know the exact feel of the word poignant, but I know that sad isn’t really the same as “haikea”. To me it’s somehow the mixture of happiness and sadness and letting go and longing and moving on and hope and hopelessness, acceptance maybe. Anyway most of the songs mentioned have that feeling and they’re utterly beautiful.

-There could be something happenin’ here
But there’s just no place to go
Your town ain’t lively up no more
Rave Down
-Rave Down

- Build it right up, knock it right down
Where the light blinds me, I’m nowhere to be found
Catch my, drift away instead
Let’s see what the road holds up ahead
-Pile-Up

Earlier on I’ve been talking about keys, Deep seat is definetly a key. Rave Down too. and Pile-Up. Oh and on Sandblasted 7″ there is Out on b-side and my my is that song brilliant. Yes it is.
It’s funny how few people actually know this band. I haven’t met anyone who actually really is into them, at least as much as I am. There certainly is a big(?) fanbase but I just have never met anyone. It is weird. Because songs are so perfect. The bass lines, Drums, singing, and all those guitars. And how they mix and interweav. It’s easy to believe Jez story on this interview.
I noticed that I have quite a few of their singles too. Thanks to Heidi who found Duel 12″ and instead of buying it herself, let me have it. I remember that I found Son of a mustang ford 12″ from london, it was really battered and in bad shape but it was cheap and it was a swervedriver after all. Even before that, all those b-sides were available from Swervedriver net site, so I had the songs already. I just wanted it because it was a Swervedriver. BTW right now you can find live versions from quite many of the songs on swervedriver.com
So if you have never heard of swervedriver and want to hear it, there’s is a chance.
And because I haven’t met people who are into swervie it was really nice to get Jon Auer’s 61/2 and find These Times from there, even though it’s not really my favourite Swervie songs, but still. At least some one likes them.

Other things. Huomenna, [tomorrow,] is going along quite nicely. Got the photo’s printed for handprogram. I know what I’m doing and so on. Todays only unpleasant surprise was that there’s two piece’s going on at the same time on friday. There’s another dance piece in servo, while Miikku and me are in Kiisu. Which means that there won’t be that many watchers for us (since they have the chance to see us already on wed and thu) and I won’t see the piece going in servo. I’ve seen it already but it would have been nice to see it again. Bummer.
Kiisu is booked for the whole of tomorrow, so I think I’ll do nothing tomorrow, well, I could do the handprograms, but let’s see.

Swervedriver – Raise
Swervedriver – Mezcalhead
Swervedriver – My Zephyr 7″
a Tribe Called Quest – the low end theory
William Basinski – Water music
The Boo Radleys – Adrenalin ep
Swervedriver – Son of a mustang ford 12″
Morrrissey – We hate it when our friends become successful
the Smiths – This night has opened my eyes
Tom Waits – Swordfishtrombones
Ismo Alangon radio – Lokaa ja kuita
King Crimson – Larks’ Tongues in aspic

Read:
Erlen Loe – Doppler

Reading:
Will Self – Kuinka kuolleet elävät [how the dead live]

gone

when you're gone

This is what I got done today. Three different hand programs for three different days. I hope I can print these tomorrow.

My first try outs with chai. Let’s taste.

Listening Sonic Youth insipired by the new coming album and the link I gave you a couple of days ago. And again, go here and listen “Incinerate”. very simple, very poppy, very good. I think I’ll have to get the new albums and old ones, probably. There’s so much.

Chai not bad. Better one can certainly be produced.

Digitized the performance from Kuopio and watched it a bit. It’s bit too fast, I don’t give all the things the time they would/will need. I can do better that’s for sure. Today didn’t rehearsed at all. Jojo has got the clothes ready although trousers don’t work as I wanted. Let’s see what can be done. Tomorrow again.

Sonic Youth – a thousand leaves
Sonic Youth – goo
Swervedriver – Mezcalhead
Katatonia – Brave Murder Day

Drearys

shipshipship

I know I’ve been mentioning this a lot before but archive.org is really something. Specially those bands who allow taping. I think I have all the Mogwai shows from there, and right now I’m into more “postrock” like Mono and Explosions in the sky. And I just notice that you can also find Elliott Smith from there. And of course DCFC is old news.

Answer to yesterday’s Chai topic.

Watching Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets. what a fun.

Two run throughs today. 28 minutes and 25 minutes. It’s getting ready. Also the clothes are getting ready, which is nice. One and a half week to go. Lala.

After yesterday

fell off the floor

I’ve been mostly listening mister Basinski’s Melancholia. I wrote to him and asked if I could use a piece of it in my final work. He hasn’t answered yet. Luckily there’s time. I really really want the garden of brokenness. And some other albums too. But not from him since I have all the other albums he has released. Although there is some small things that I would like to have, like shortwavemusic, released by raster-noton, and some other stuff that is also out of print.

Melancholia suited so well my yesterday, and today. Although I notice there’s a chance getting hunged up on it.

Finished reading Valo (Light) by M. John Harrison. I did like it, in a way. I think I will read more of his books, wondering does the local library have his Eilisen mystinen sydän (course of the heart), and why it has been translated into that.

Sanna gave me Paulo Coelho’s alchemist, since I asked it. So that one will be next.

Did I tell you anything about the Sheri S. Tepper’s Grass? Maybe not. Maybe I won’t read her books anymore. It wasn’t really bad, and it was fasinating in a way. But there’s something really childish in her way of writing the characters. It wasn’t as bad as beauty, not nearly, but it wasn’t really that good either.

Did I say something about the Viktor Pelevin’s the Helmet of horror? Maybe not. I didn’t really understand much, to be onest, but I liked the experience all the same. I do recommend that book. Maybe if you know more about Minotauros and Theseus you get more out of it. But even me who doesn’t really know much, got something out of it. Mainly Kon-fus-ion. What a delight.

Today I was supposed to fix some photos. I’m thinking of hand program for the final work. I have an idea, now I just need to make it work. I haven’t really done anything. I got home around five and after that I haven’t done anything except read.

Rehearsed once, didn’t seem to work. But it’s all about trust. I know it. Ans Jojo promised to fix my pant tomorrow before I go. Jeij.

Basinski – Melancholia
Basinski – Variations: a movement in chrome primitive
Katatonia – Brave Murder Day
Reich – Cello counterpoint

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