Time again

ah
All of this over a year ago.

So I am in a place I should, or could call my home. Do I?
It’s your house, I’m not paying.

A month ago I copied all of my WP’s onto a stick, this one included. And I read some old things, from back when I started, 12 years ago or so. And… very little has changed. Studies are always the place of rest, of knowing what and how. and time out of studies is much more chaotic in many sense.

I’m listening to Ulver’s Bergtatt, from 22 years ago or so. It is still good. Ulver tends to be, although I bit lost the track on “war of the roses”

It’s been about 9 months since I wrote last. I feel there is nothing new to say, to myself, to anyone. nothing that I wouldn’t have said before. We live interesting times, but everyone is commenting, and so many people comment with more rigour than I. Although I would say that my basic approach to materialism is still rather valid, but now I found object oriented philosophy or speculative realism who do it in much more rigour than I. And I got my though from Agamben.

I’m getting old and fat and my life could be easy, well, it is very easy, but I’m rarely happy. There always should be somehting more.
I’m thinking all of the things that never were finished. I would need someone to work with, but there is no one picking me up. Well, I’m again placing the responsibility outside, it is me who should pick up the slack. Anyway. I remember playing “old age” in 2005, it didn’t have lyrics, they came maybe 1 or 2 years later. So, the song, as such has been ready over 10 years, and it is not yet recorded or released (well over here on some version that I’m not too happy with). “Unkind of me” is made in… 2011 I guess, lyrics maybe 2013… and it is not recorded or released… (except over here).

I know what I want, tinker around… Right now I’m spending too much time on this computer. not doing the things I “should”, but reading endless stories through FB, how the world is turning.

And there is things to write.
One thing was, about 3 months ago, thinking about art, somehow: We are in a bar, that has a live cover band and a lot of beer. As a last song they played The Cranberries’ “zombie” and almost everyone sings along. And I’m thinking, but, but, don’t you listen what the song is about? And how that is connected on the current situation in europe? All this war mongering… I guess I felt disbelieved and slightly sad. But what to do, it’s “normal”, friday night, people after work, song is catchy and everyone knows it, even french people.

Art and arrogance.
some people embody it so well.

and the world turns.

I walk through cities, and I sense/feel/think that all of this will be gone soon, maybe already in my life time. My father says that humans always survive, they make huge conflicts that kills 2/3 of them but they still survive. And maybe he is right, but I sense/feel/think that the world as I know it, as we know it, has already ended. It keeps on going with the sheer momentum, but it has already ended. The current migration waves are nothing compared things to come. And this… well reflects it’s shadow on my ideas of work, home and huge amount of music on vinyl.

What is my practice?