Stay

Ah

Not even near helsinki, but somehow home anyway.

Trips to Finland and spain were great.
More in detail. I already wrote something about the work with D & S, It was good, and I thikn very nice beginning, I’m very greatful for both of them working and specially for Sara because she arranged all the spaces we ahd for free and so on. The little work in progress we showed went well as well. It’s just clear that in order to do those things really well that I’m mainly interested, we need more time, and Sara’s back to be ok (she hurt it on the previous week before our rehearsals started). I also performed my solo, got some feedback from the people I don’t know, and a not at all from the few people I know. But it’s like this. I’ll add the video from it to darlingdear.net at some point. Anyway, Sevilla was great, also as a city. Since I was living so close to the center I had a feeling that it’s rather small, but apparently it’s not. The old center is lovely, and I found rather good mint ice cream eventually as well.

Malaga is smaller, as a city it feels bigger, but the old town is much smaller, I found one really nice cafe/juice bar, Ultimo Mono, I really recommend if you’re in Malaga. Was staying at Virginia and Thomas, and they were great, just like last time. One of the best things about teaching CI is actually the people you meet. We had quite a few discussions with Virgi about nature of reality, almost to the point of arguing. Also had nice talk with guys who came from Sevilla to the workshop and stayed at Virgi and Thomas as well. had a ncie change to perform in the contemporary art museum of Malaga, almost totally the same sequencing as in Sevilla, so not so much of improvisation, I should do more in order to find the courage again. But both performances (Sevilla and Malaga) were about 27 minutes. It’s getting longer, and in Malaga I felt it could have taken even a bit more time.
After workshop had a nice long talk with one dancer from Granada, (name escapes me, like always), and we came to conclusion that since it’s all rather hopeless in a way, to dance and make art is more than valid option. Yeah, long discussion about politics and quality and art. I really enjoy talking with people. I wish I could make my living out of that.

Then through Madrid to ibiza. I love the Island, but I don’t really know much people there. And I really don’t find things to do. Then again I’m not good finding things to do anywhere. But it was nice to see Monica and Matias and Sebastian a bit.

Through Madrid to Bilbao. I really liked Bilbao. There was some changes in the arrangements. But Mireya was meeting me at the bus terminal with the boyfriend of her sister (since he speaks more english than she does) and we walked around and he was telling me about the history of the city and showing places. I really like Basque, specially the names, although I forget them, like names always. Anyway, with them and some more friend of them we went to eat pinxos and drink, some more of their friends joining. Pinxos are good, although I think they should put slightly bit more effort to make also vege options. I eat meat, but I just noticed the lack of non-meat non-fish options. Went with Mireyas sister and the boyfriend to arrierra.. uh… can’t remember.. and again had a nice discussion about the politics and specially about education in finland and in spain. As it happens I stayed with Carme, who is a teacher, so I had more discussions about politics, education and so on, within finland and in spain. Workshop was small but nice. it didn’t go quite so well as I hoped, well, it was for 10 hours, and I felt that I would have wished for one hour more. But already most of people we kind of overloaded with the info so it wasn’t bad. On sunday we ended already at 14 and because I was told that I should drink cider over there, I of course wanted to get some. Again the Basque word escapes my memory. Because it’s not Cidra over there, of course. Also, spanish and Basque Cidra is quite different than the english/french one. It’s actually very close to the applewine I can get from Frankfurt. But, we went to eat some pinxos and dring Sagardo (Cidra, google finds everything, even if my memory won’t). Afterwards I stayed it Uxue and we walked around the city as she showed me places and told more about the history and so on. Very very lovely evening.

So, it’s nice to travel and talk with people, but it would be nice to create something bit more stable with them. or have a stable place where to talk with people and create and then go out and talk more and share perspectives. Teaching is one way, but I start to dislike the idea of teaching, meaning that there would be someone who knows. Teaching is almost always working within a hierarchy and creating a hierarchy, and lately I’ve been thinking a lot how is it possible to create classes that would deconstruct hierarchies, or even deconstruct identities, identity. Dasha has been studying critical theory so asked some writers from ehr (need to ask more) and on my last evening in Madrid we were having a dinner with Diana, jonathan and Elena, and I asked Jonathan also to recommend me some books. HE told a bit about the butoh school in dharamsala where the teacher well, doesn’t call himself a teacher but a midwife, and never gives personal feedback. Nevertheless I’m almost sure that even there is a hierarchy of some sort, we humans have great difficulties to do without.

the whole time of my journey I have been rather depressed watching what is going on with ukraina. and yes no one has the full info, but adding up what has been happening in russia for a long time, it doesn’t really look good. And at the same time when watching finalnd, or spain, it doesn’t really look good. It’s amazing, Stalin died in 53′ and he was in power until then. Franco died in 77′ and yet it seems that no one remembers anything but actually votes persons into power who are only limiting the “freedom” of the people. ” ” because freedom is a very tricky concept. but as soon as people can’t gather outside to demonstrate, or those demonstrations are met with unnecessary force. Or legistlations are made to justify that unnecessary force, well. That is some heavy limitations, by the persons/organisation who want to stay in power. And no I don’t understand how any thinking being can support that.

But in this world there’s not so much thinking anyway. What ever the hippies might say. I hope I have written about this already.

With the school I’m lost. I have no idea how to do my next class and how I relate to thins guy teaching cunningham. I don’t get it, I just don’t.

Well, it’s not super serious, of course it is, but it isn’t. So we balance.

Been happy writing thoughts, on paper.
posting them to FB since no one reads this but me, and I don’t think much of people check darling dear.net so often either. Actually I triple post almost everything.. dd, sinewaved, instagram, FB, quadruple.

All this “sharing” and information floting around, only to create me, out of me. Maybe sometimes it tells something, to someone.

Music wise, New Ulver is out, Been out for long. I’m lost. Still haven’t listened it, and I never got so into war of roses.. so I have 2 albums to listen to. Yeah, it’s sad not to be working with somehting nice and earning money to buy all the albums I wish to have.

And Daniel Menche is Awesome, Marriage of Metals and Vilke are superb.

And Rob Crow made a second album in 2011 and I still don’t have it as vinyl, but I have it and just because of Sophistructure it’s awesome.

Otherwise no new discoveries?

Well, Monopot that turned into Rally that turned into Summen has turned into Beta Man. You can get them for free from blacksmokerecords.com, go go.

Goodnight and good luck to you all

And on we go

Ah

Could write, but again I’m nonplussed, what?

That my descriptions for my classes are way too unclear for my teachers.
And I’m thinking how much it has to do with the culture. And how much it has to do with me being unclear or wanting to be unclear.

In someways, clarity is utter bore.

Poetry is never clear yet it is. But what is the content of information? well yeah…

Have worked about 5 days with Dasha and Sara, it’s good but we would need at least 2 weeks more.
But we knew that this is a try out, something to consider, shall we continue or not. Of course D going to Brasil, and maybe S as well, we need to think where and how to continue.. if…
But all and all it’s been great.

Then off to Malaga, then off to Ibiza, then off to Bilbao… then off to Frankfurt.

Interest and uninterest. Engaged, disengaged.
Still thinking how this nothing disengaged from everything.

Life is good.
Actually no, that is a lie.
Life is.