:Wavetales

I’m some place that I call home.
I’m slightly confused.

It was lovely to go straight to jam and have a dances.

I was supposed to do serious office business (me being unemployed) today but I did nothing. Not a big surprise, I’ll do tomorrow then (ups, clock being 1:23 again-> today).

I’m slightly dissapointed eventhough I know that I shouldn’t.
I’m dissapointed of being dissapointed.

When we parted on saturday I told her that on sunday I’ll write her mail, and I’ll open up skype. From her tears I though that she would too. OF course she doesn’t. I’m not there anymore, so I’m totally invisible now. I was feeling such a tonto sitting in front of skype. But I knew this, I shouldn’t be dissapointed.

It’s nice to figure out what I am actually crying for. Lot of hte stuff is not because of the actual relatioship but the loss of hopes and dreams what it could have been. But it wasn’t, those hopesand dreams were proved futile already before. And actually now there’s again change for soem of those dreams to come true.
But hopes and dreams are always outside, and as long as I keep on looking things outside I’ll never be happy (bloody buddhist) everything is here, right now.

But still, I am dissapointed.

My father was right about the music. Today only getting cd into the machine and listening to vinyl.

Maybe tomorrow I play some guitar. Today I didn’t.

Let go of it,
let go.
I tell myself.

Katri brought me a loads of ganesha stickers. I’ve been pasting them a bit.
After all, abundance is all around me (and us)

Jussi paid a visit. I still have problem of concentration, doing too many things at the same time, but we had a nice coherent discussion about relationships even I was going back and forth from room to another.

Life is easy, but easy life isn’t.
You live and then you live somemore.

I painted my toenails again.

I better go sleep while I can.