:Wavetales

I have no idea why I took the title… But it started to play in my head.
Now it plays in my itunes.

I had to read my previous mail. because I know I’ll repeat myself.
This time: Floor, glasses (which are broken), a bit better posture for my back, but not superb. Dreamscapes.

I went to the jam. Alone, with Kongh’s Shadows of the Shapeless filling my head (phones). Riding fast between cars, choosing lanes, paths through. Such a rush of adrenaline, Like snowboarding in backcountry. Super.
Why is it that so often we (?) feel most alive when we are in danger? Or at least in relative danger. Like me, going through streets of BS AS, between cars?
But it’s also about control. I’m in control and I have to make decisions fast, there’s no time to stop and think. It’s flowing. Just like a dance. So how come I don’t experience my whole life like that? Can I choose to experience my whole life like that? And howcome I can feel the same sense of flow time when I’m listening music.. like now Commemoration… This riff is superb. What happened to this band? Memoirs was such a dissapointment to me.

Oksana send me a part of Everything’s the same which I did in altai.
I should work so much more, I know.

And just now Hary asked me am I polish. No, proud member of Finnish CI community. Which of course leads me into thoughs of community. But let’s not go there. That word is tricky and I’m not sure am I part of community, but I’m part of the group dancing there for 9 years of CI, mainly together.

Sort of Invisible Listen to that song. HOwcome there is people who can do sucha a… It’s so simple. It’s so beautiful and the lyrics are the crown… No the Drum work is the Crown of this song. Listen to it. There’s this restrained force or power that could take off at anypoint and it chooses to stay with the song, to serve the song, Be a true part of it, and yet you can hear the power there. It’s huge. It’s physical force going into my body. Listen to it. Such a great song.

Just checking, but apparently I haven’t written much about Giorgio Agamben’s coming community. I should have. But then again the book is so great that… I dont know what to say except that it’s the almost only book within two years that had made me cry both on times I read it. And it’s superbly good. And I’m still not sure did I understand even half of it.

” …into the thin air…”

In jam there was three people. We had a lovely trio… of improvisation and contact. Very enjoyable. Funny that not so many people come there. space is nice. Bit sticky floor though. But at least there is space.

I can’t meet people. Already home I’m in trouble. Here even more because I don’t speak the language. Being with the relatives yesterday and me supertired because no one ever sleeps at here. And there was couple of really sweet attempts to make contact, and I tried to answer. And I tried to make contact. But we have no language and I don’t smile enough. Then later, in the evening I went to the jam. There was this teachers whom I’ve seen many times but not really made any contact with him. I felt that he’s a bit avoiding even to look at me. And then we start to dance. And dance is nice, good, a dance. And after we meet in corridor and we smile and touch, not talk, but we are there. That’s how I feel. I meet people when I dance, and after it’s easier to meet them again even in a bit different enviroment. How I can bring that openess I have in the dance space into my whole life?

I spend more money than I though.

Today we got the ticket to the border of brasil. On our way to Floreanopolis and the festival over there. I hope it will be good…

How the water turns in here?
I got two bottles fitting to devajal for tomorrows class… Endless repetition of self. Trying to fix things better.

Over and out.