Fly no flight
So now.
I bought the ticket. expensive one but she wants to travel on certain dates and we want to travel together and I have a lot of money.
But my debit card don’t go trough. travelling agency doesn’t let me know about this until I ask after 4 days of nothing.
We try another debit card it doesn’t go through.
Maybe today, though.
I do not know do I have the flight to argentina or not.
But I think I’m going.
This has given me a lot of stress and I wonder why. It’s annoying because not only taht I suffer from it, other people suffer my stress as well…
Not good.
I hear that I’m rude. THat I know but often I hear I’m rude in places or situations where I don’t actually feel to be. So again time of self-reflection.
But I know this. Specially in slightly hippy enviroments, I am rude. Because I’m looking things from the otherside, which for many is negative. Well to me it’s also negative, but I know it’s just the other.
Without other there is no other.
And eventually the whole needs both sides.
When Good forces eventually win there will be no good.
When bad forces eventually win there will be no bad.
To conquere the other completely, to demolish the other completely is to conqure and demolish yourself.
Why so often when we strive towards good we happen to do so much bad on the way?
So where and why do we strive for?
When I know that I’m not why I stress so much?
And the helplesness and frustration and violence are such a physical feelings in my body. Like some one holding me tight, suffocating… My heart beating fast and faster for a long time.
Can’t let it go…until with time.
I hear how people believe in themselves and what they’re doing. and they do things… hippy things but nevertheless.
And I don’t know what can I do and I don’t believe in anything.
But I know how to move, sometimes, the way I do.
What can I do with that?
Lot of things…
For me…
But what can I offer for others?
Something that they would value.
I am not sure.
sometimes with my teaching I think I can offer a bit. Or just move forwards the information I have got from others.
I fly not. I stay on the ground.
