:Wavetales

Photo from Altai
In Barcelona, still. Today back to ibiza.

So things change and I think I’m going to argentina. Just because of her? Because of myself.
Own personal vipassana I think. Unless I learn Really fast spanish.
Can I believe that money come?
I try.

I need to pay everything back to my father at some point.
Direction for my life.

Who would like to “invest” loads of money into CI/Zen center, concentrating on healthy food, and the relations of CI and immediate action, being in here, now, Zen.

What would I do there, with it?
Learn dicipline, make dicipline.
I’ve understood that only dicipline I have is CI.
Yesterday when deciding to go to the jam and dance even though my eye is not totally ok yet (yeah it had a meeting with one finger, hurt) I realised that it is the thing I can do, everyday. It’s also the thing I enjoy. Not only CI but dancing. For a long time yesterday I was making my own solo when most of the people were lying on the floor. And when meeting my first partner my solo continued, infused with the possibilities of a duet. Was it a duet?

I want to dance.
I want to practise improvisation.

Yesterday feeling bad for various reasons (patterns keep repeating, no matter who I’m with because I’m me… so what is me? a bunch of patterns… If I change patterns, am I me?)
And walking in the city to the restaurant (BIO CENTER, Great food) going with the sullen relaxation noticing where we are going by having he wide spectre of surrounding and information coming in all the time. Not connected to anything, and thus connected to everything. Practise of impovisation… skills…

When I woke up… well later Kent’s Livräddären kept playing in my head so I open the computer and iTunes and play it. It’s good. I still don’t quite know what is he singing.
Then drifting on to other old songs of Kent. Such a greatness. Maybe the new ones are as well.

Advertisement. Well I could advertise a lot of things but to me is sucha nice thing that Denovali records is actually giving mp3′s downloads from their own releases. And sometimes the whole album like now

Slightly tired with group decisions specilly when I’ve chosen to be physically far away from the group. I might as well give in, thank god Panu can do these thing as well, so maybe I shift responsibility over to him.

I am worried about going, about life, about everything.
But I try now to.
I want to dance and listen and play music.
Do I want it enough? that’s the question.
But if not, I don’t want anything enough.

Good night and good luck to you all.

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