Decisions all around (Monday 8th of June 2009)
painting by Pekka Vesterinen
Monday 8th of June 2009
I do not have internet access right now, but I though there’s some thoughts to write about so I’ll write and update when I can…
so now.
I’m upset with doctors and nurses because it seems that they don’t listen me, the one who actually knows something about his own medical history. Instead they do as they have procedure to do, even if the procedure don’t always work and even if I tell them that with me it didn’t work before.
So let’s see how everything will sort out itself.
I’m living in a cabin that has been full of smoke, and is pretty um… chilly, if not right down cold. Reason it having being full of smoke is that I tried to heat it up, but the chimney just doesn’t… suck… so it sucks… Poor chimney is too cold. and the fireplace is too small and the wood is not fry enough.
But before I was living in a chilly room too. so let’s see how this night will turn out.
Apparently I turned down a job… well not so simple. The piece I was in is having few reruns. but unfortunetally on august, just between freiburg and ibiza, and when I said well it could be possible the choreographer already said that he doesn’t have money to fligh me from germany and so this is done for me… then he asked could I do one performance on september… and I really try to stay away from finland… so eventually I said no, and then he said that he will hire another dancer. It’s good I recommended Janne, I hope he at least check’s him out. But later, on these two days, I’ve been thinking it a lot. What if…. but you can always think what if… It never ends. Anyway. What I should have done is to ask how much salary I could have got from all the three performances and see if I could get the flights with that money. After all I’m teaching CI with basically no plus at all, so why not to do couple of performances that I enjoyed to do… but all of this I should have figured out when he initially asked me to do those two…
Such a hurry.
Let’s see how everything will sort out itself.
So I’m in Purnu, dancing. it’s nice but demanding, in some sort of way. I’ve been taking it easy on these couple of first days. It might be that I’ll taki it easy for the whole time. But mainly dancing when there actually is someone to see it too, even if they eventualy don’t want to see it. And then sitting, doing push up’s and abs and that sort of thing every once in a while where there’s no visitors at all. LIke last year, again halls 5 and 7 are the easiest one for me to access. On hall 4 is a video piece and the sound is driving me nuts. I think I will not do anything there. Sad thing is that the sound comes out to every hall… urgh… Hall 3 is really cool, but right now on this weather is actually way too cool to do anything.. But I like the art there and if the weather, and thus the hall, will get warmer I’ll find myself there at some point for sure. Then 1,2 and 6 I don’t have much thoughs yet.
Let’s see how everything will sort out itself.
My moving has changed. I haven’t really moved as solo for a while, except warming up, but otherwise not after the piece, I think. And now, where before I felt it’s all flow and no rhythm or accents, now I feel it’s all rhythm and accent and no continuous flow. It’s good, it’s such a clear change in self. And I don’t know where does it come from. Now I just have to make it even stronger and stronger. At least I have some time here. I jsut hope the weather would be a bit warmer… like 18-22 degrees would be really good. not too hot, not too cold.
I’m waiting a phone call. It’s wierd, I haven’t done that in a while.
Let’s see how everything will sort out itself.
