workforce
Ok so we are working on this little tine festival over here.
And I work because I want to, but what do I want? I want to be in, that’s what I want I want to be useful to be accepted. I want to be in use. And I want to be able to say this belongs to me and I belong to it because I have worked for it. Then why it is so hard to accept that some people just won’t work but still want to be in, and that some people who work for it, leave out because they feel their work isn’t appreciated enough. And how to communicate that what you feel is what you feel, it’s not reality. How often I feel no one likes me? Well hey, to behonest not so much anymore, but even when I did I knew that there are people who like and appreciate me. So what you feel is only what you feel. And often we see thing the way we want to, unfortenutaly.
But the only point of view I have and thus the only point of view I can change is of myself. So how can I know change my attitude towards the people (or some of them) who I have to work with.
If it would be me, I would say don’t come at all, but it’s not of me.
My part is not important. I’m not important for this festival or it’s organizing “community” none of us are. Mirva said it. This group is bigger and so massive that even if individuals take off, drift off whatnot it will probably not slow us much down. And while saying this I know that individuals form the “community” and already when some (or one) of us are not in this year much have changed, not for worse and not for better, but changed.
So how do I change my feelings? When I know I work because I want to, no one made me. And I know some of us don’t have the capability to work like others. I just wouldn’t want to share this with that kind of person when most of what I see around me is still showing their effort and trying their best even with much more complicated life situations.
But I should have opened my mouth long time ago, I’m too late know. That’s why I have to change my way of thinking.
Oh well. about a week to go.
Next week will be dreadful/exiting anyway. I start a new job, hopefully. And I still can’t believe I got it. And I’m not sure why I got it. But I’m so glad of it since I need some dicipline from outside since myself one is way too weak.
I had a pair of speakers here in me home to listen to. I like these magnats more even though at first I wasn’t happy with them. So I returned the otherones back to shop. But it’s so nice of them to let me test them.
And a lot of new music again.. so much that I can’t even think of anything to write except I’m so dissapointed that I didn’t get Earth’s HEX on vinyl when I could. I can’t find it anymore and I have almost all their other albums. The Bee’s Made Honey in the Lion’s Skull is so nice.
I should I should I should.
