Visible Forms
Audrey came up from my iTunes. Visible Forms is so lovely album that I have a great urge to order it on vinyl. Mecklenburg is a great starter, full of sadness and melancholy and love and small amounts of hope and tenderness.
Go listen.
And if you like it you should buy the album since Traverse, which is the last song that album is as good as the starter, and eveything in between is awesome as well.
Somehow ths music brings up so much. Memories, feelings, sadness. But I promised myself that I will not relate music to any person any moment any memory. Of course this is not possible, but it’s possible to find new memories, new moments to relate that music to.
Anyway if you visit Audrey‘s site, you’ll notice that they have finished recording of their second album. I guess and hope that it will be released (like visible forms) by a tenderversion recordings (in sweden/northern europe) and by sinnbus (in germany/central europe). Although I can’t be sure. I’m slightly worried since there ahs been anything happening with a tenderversion recordings site. Of course it’s a small label and all. But still I hope it’s still working and okay. They have released quite a few my favourite albums, Audrey and Scraps of Tape and Once We Were. Actually I’ve been listening them all lately, although just a few songs. I got this thing about drummers, or drums. Listen Once We Were‘s Cut Corners. The riff and the guitar mass is such a wealth, and then after the “pause” just hear the fills, those are so fucking awwesome with full of power and heart.
Also Repulsion is still one of the best songs ever made.
And then from Scraps of Tape I’ve been rotating 13 thousand. Of course again the starting riff is brilliant, I’m always sucker for howling distorted guitars. Plus I like the lyrics a lot “you need the friends you’ve left to wrap around your heart”. No wonder this was on my top 2007.
Lonely time here.
how does it feel to realise tha no body really misses me. If I would go it’s probably only parents who would really miss me, I’m their only child after all. All the friends would maybe remember me sometimes and wonder how things are, but to really miss. No, I don’t think so. Then again what it is to miss? Again this sounds like huge self pitying, but it isn’t realy. I just know how many people goes trhough our lives, they appear, stay a while and disappear. It’s the same thing other way around. There are some people I think I would remember and sometimes think how they are, but to miss? Who I would be missing? I’m not sure anymore. All things pass and everythings the same. This is quite relieving, hopefull and sad at the same time. There is no other meaning than what I create. There’s no meaning in my life. So I need to create one, do I?
How do we create meanings? What we give meaning to. What feels meaningfull. Full, is anything full anymore, was it ever. We try to fill, that’s for sure. I’m starting to understand more and more of rituals, rhythms, patterns and repetation. I think that through repetition, ritual it’s possible to find the meaning the lies underneath this all. We been tricked to search it from filling, trying to get full. Maybe we should turn it to emptying. But really there’s nothing.
Nice thing about ritual is that it doesn’t have to make any sense, it doesn’t have to be reasonable. It can, basically be whatever, silent prayer during the day, certain set of movements in the morning, certain way you place your dishes before you eat. It can be anything, and underneath it, through that repetition, it might be found.
We are searching too much. All is already here, as we all know. It’s just so hard to understand, to feel, to trust upon it. That there’s really nothing and that is all that there’s need to be, everything. Both words are describing something that we, as humans can’t truly realize with our conscious mind. Try to thing of nothing and you thing of empty, void, not even void, space between, try to think everything and you still think of parts, maybe big parts. maybe you think of universe but how can you think of universe when you don’t know what it is.
No, I’m not on drugs.
So eventually I can be whatever I want to, Brings me mind of Diceman. Should read that again.
Actually all this is related to art, to me this “nothing/everything” is something that art is trying to reach. The substance.
I visited my grandmother yesterday. She thinks she’ll die on spring, or so she had though she said. I hope she does. She’s old 92, and somehow I hope that we all could leave with our wits. Anyway she, well told me a lot of things, but two things specially that I should remember. 1st – that I should never stop singing, sing to the walls but keep on singing no matter how old you get, never stop. 2nd – As long as you have bread and roof the amount of money is all the same. Shelter and food, everything else is extra which you can’t get with you anyway. So here you are then.
The only reason to live is to live, again, relieving and sad at the same time. To be is to be.
So I got this piece called Everything’s the same. I haven’t performed it much since I haven’t performed much. I should, be more active. It’s physics, the amount of energy in closed system remains the same, it might change it’s form (heat energy-movement energy), but the amount stays the same. Is universe closed system? Everything’s the same.
And I’m not the only one.
