Home again

play around the playground

So I decided to apply to teach in couple of places. Access declined is my guess, but I’m so negative with everything. Do I have something to offer, yes I do. How can I offer it in easily accepted form. That is the challenge. I’m so easily dissapointed.

So we came back home last night and already I can feel the depression creeping. It’s matter of money, not the people. Or maybe it’s a matter of… self confidence? Sometimes I don’t see anything that I can really do.

It’s all matter of belief.

I met a lot of lovely people. How’s that then.

Some of them I’ve met before, some of them I’ll meet again.

At this state of mind, it might be bloody useless to write anything about everything.

Everything is the same.

I can’t convince even myself.

We are mighty tired

it's a window

Back then in africa, I heard this song, from a tape of course, they didn’t have much cd players there, yet. Very normal reggae and man singing “we are mighty tired”. That’s what I heard. Eventually, I picked up the cassette (I think the covers were missing) and checked the song and the artist because I wanted to get that album. But then I noticed that the song name was “me and my guitar”… and after that I heard he was singing, “me and my guitar”. Now how dissapointing is that? Me and my guitar is dull dull dull, We are mighty tired is awesome. Good thing is, I can now claim that name to myself. Maybe I’ll do piece with that.
Luckily Evi-Edna Ogholi really sings about eating the cake and having it, she great.

I don’t get anything done but that’s old news.

Although I did this: Skiing on Skin
And only feedback I got was that frames are technically passe. Yeah sure, but I follow no trend, I follow what I can do and what not.

Lately been listening a lot of vinyl. Of course, last.fm will tell you more.

Today, instead of browsing through webshops and their vinyl selection, I actually checked band websites. Good thing is that not much is coming, since I don’t have the job and thus money. Another good thing is that Logh is doing a gig in finland in september, let’s see will I get there. I haven’t really gotten into their latest album yet.

Once in a while I wonder how did I chose to study dance. It’s too easy for me just sit and not really move. I need external motivation to move and that bad that is. Well luckily (and thanks to my dear parents financial support) I’m going to two CI festival, so two weeks more or less dance. Very very good. After that the summer is almost over. I really should start to know what to do when I grow up. Hahhahahaahahaa……

I vacuum cleaned my guitar pic, it might be so that I don’t have another here.

Natsumen are awesome, although not as great as their clearest comparison (in my head) Jaga Jazzist. But nevertheless Atami Free zone is a great song and so is newsummerboy, which you can listen if you visit their site.

Which brings to mind that I have Shining‘s Grindstone, but I don’t get any grip of it. I haven’t Really tried, a bit.

I have read quite a lot, and had a few nice discussions with people or two. When I say nice I mean it’s nice to actually talk and exchange something, but the conclusion have been quite pessimistic.
I live in finland, please people living here. Could you take a closer look at USA before you claim that capitalism brings wealth to all. It doesn’t, they have people who die out of hunger.
Whatever. Life seems quite pointless every once in a while.

Most intellectual stuff I’ve read lately is by Paul Virilio, very interesting. I’m in the internet, I am. I don’t go further on about this.

So actually my question is:
Why do you live?
or
What do you live for?
please answer me, on comment section (click Please do tell me)

It’s ok.